A Poem About Dog Sledding

The following poem was written by a former MMI cadet, Curtis Surovy, when he was in grade 11. It was published in Tale Spinners; Midnight Star Publications in Alberta, Canada (Winter 2005).



Finest Companions
Curtis Surovy

Adventuring up blue ice mountains
panting dogs conquer the frozen slope
where frigid air like thorns in the lungs doubles you.
With whistle signal sled travelers halt,
dismount and approach the humble beasts,
bare fingers course through frozen fur's sharp edges.
Their prideful stature spent, these finest companions
now compliant with loose tongues flapping, bellies grounded
blow out exhaustion with every breath
until standing again the hounds bark readiness
to descend, tails wagging.


Related reading: Curtis Surovy's letter to Wendell Berry; Trophy (poem about personal victory)

Building Student Portfolios

Three of my children had writings published before they were freshmen in high school. These pieces were the beginning of their writing portfolios and those portfolios gave them an edge when it came time to apply to colleges. One daughter’s Christmas short story was so impressive that she won a local short story contest and a full scholarship to Westover, a prestigious all girl boarding school in Middlebury, Connecticut.

Writing teachers should encourage students to develop writing portfolios. Here are suggestions on how to get started:

Use a three ring binder with dividers for Poetry, Essays, Short Stories, and Journalism.

Set a goal to have at least one published piece in each category every year.

After publication, place a copy of the published piece in the appropriate section of the portfolio.

Publications in magazines, poetry books or anthologies should include a copy of the cover page. Online publications should include the URL.

Include only the best work when submitting applications to colleges.


Keep in mind that the fastest way to build your writing portfolio is to publish online. Paper publications are important also, but it takes much longer to submit and receive either an acceptance or rejection from paper publications. This is why I started Students Publish Here! Send me your work. I will critique it and if I think it has value, I will publish it.

If you would like to know more about the logistics of publishing your students' work at this site, please contact me. I may be reached at aproeditor@gmail.com

I do not publish any writings that include profanity or erotica. The purpose of this blog is to help teachers teach good writing and to publish good student writing. If a piece has been published elsewhere, the publication is cited here.

Depicting Violence in Fiction

My students are required to write short shorts. This demanding unit has proven to be helpful to students because they go through the process as a fiction writer. (For more on how to encourage students to write short fiction, read Fiction: The Germ That Spreads published here in April 2007.)

The secret to writing good short shorts is to begin the story as close as possible to the climax and to begin with action. Many students begin with scenes of violence, but they need guidance and examples in order to learn how to do this well. Here are some tips to share with your students.

There are three ways to depict violence in short stories.

1. Pack the narrative with details and draw out the action so that it seems that the event is taking place in slow motion. The objective is to draw the reader into the action. To do this well the writer must be selective about which details to include. Not every detail is necessary.

Example: Carlito heard the shot after he had fallen. The gutter was splattered with red drops and the smell of blood filled his nostrils. It all felt like a dream. He was sure that he must be sleeping, only the warm redness was spreading. A scarlet stream against the hard gray of the asphalt, and in the background the sirens wailed.

The writer should begin by trying to visualize the event in the mind. Some students find it helpful to close their eyes. They keep their writing journals open so they can jot down details. In the example given important details would include the red splatters, the scarlet stream, the hard gray asphalt, the smell of blood and the wailing sirens as in a dream.

Provide students with examples that employ this approach to violent scenes. (The British novelist, Ruth Rendell, does this very well.)

2. Hide or bracket the violence between what precedes and what follows. For example: describe a normal day for the character and then because of something violent that has happened, his life is changed. You must provide enough information that it is clear to the reader that something has happened although you haven't described the event. You are inviting the reader to fill in the blanks using the imagination.

Example: Jake drove down the dusty lane with his favorite country station blaring and eager for a slice or two of his Aunt Sally's raspberry pie, but when he saw the vultures circling, their huge wings tilting as they made their descent, he knew that he would have to investigate.

3. Underplay the horror of the event by avoiding graphic description. Use short and simple sentences. Example: She heard the bone crack. She fell, stunned by the blow. Her stomach soured. She lay on the ground and looked at the cloudless blue sky, wondering who would find her and when.

Another way to downplay the horror is to use long sentences connected by a string of connectors. Example: Freddy took the shot below his left eye and felt the cheek bone splinter before his legs buckled and he fell to the ground, barely conscious.

Students today are exposed to so much violence that they can depict very gruesome scenes. The key to depicting violence in good fiction is to help the reader identify with what the character is experiencing, not with the gore.

Feel the Emotions: Evocative Poetry

The best poetry is evocative. It stirs emotions in the reader and raises sometimes murky images to the surface. Frequently a student's struggle to write evocative poetry can be traced to problems identifying an emotion they may be feeling. Writing teachers can help students by asking, "What were you feeling when you wrote this?" Often students respond with "I was thinking..." and you have to help them move from conscious thought to consciousness of a emotion. You might ask, "Were you afraid or angry? Were you feeling sad or discouraged?"

I've developed a method to help students get in touch with emotions created by strong poetic images. I turned to the work of 20th century Spanish poets, as having taught Spanish poetry, I was especially familiar with the evocative quality of Spanish poetry. The method requires students to keep a poetry journal and builds in time for reflection on the short readings.

Here are 6 evocative images to use with students who need to get in touch with their emotions.

"The guitar makes dreams cry. The whimpering of lost souls escapes from its round mouth." Garcia Lorca

"The embers of a purple dusk smolder behind the black cypress grove." Antonio Machado

"Let me make a tree from your braids. Tomorrow they will find me hanged on the celestial knot of your veins." Gerardo Diego

"And then, when one reaches the youth of running water, the youth that places little ants on one's tongue to say 'I love you,' she came, and your eyes saw her for the first time..." Luis Rosales

"That spring his screws loosened; his sense of direction crashed on some dangerous curves." Gloria Fuentes

"All the houses are eyes, which shine and lie in wait. All the houses are mouths, which spit, bite and kiss." Miguel Hernandez


Assignment:

Students are to read the 6 lines from the different poets (provide these on a handout.) They are to jot the first thoughts and or feelings that come to them after reading each line. Ask volunteers to share what they have written and help the students understand the difference between a thought and an emotion.

In class list emotional tones such as despair, melancholy, yearning, bitter, sad, hopeful, etc. In small groups have students write descriptions of the tones and provide examples by quoting lines from the poems in their literature text.

Later in the week students are to write the 6 lines above in their poetry notebooks, leaving enough space to write reflections on each. The following questions and leads can help guide the students' reflections:

What is the image of this line?

What does it remind me of?

What is the emotional tone of the poem?

What do I feel when I read this?

This image makes me feel... (angry, sad, joyful, depressed, hopeful, etc.)

This line makes me feel that... (the world is...; my life is..., etc.)