What I see in the mirror

When we look in the mirror we see our image reflected. That means we are not seeing ourselves as we are seen by others. We often don't like what we see. We are not content with how we look. Some are obsessed with their image, like Narcissus.

The Jewish custom at Shiva is to drape all mirrors with black cloth. Mirrors are covered in a place of mourning for two reasons. The primary reason is because prayer services take place there and one must ensure that no one faces a mirror during prayer. The other reason is to emphasize that a mourner avoids vanity during the shiva, focusing on their loved one rather than themselves during this period.

Mirror

Looking in the mirror

I see everything behind me.

I see my whole past.

The scars I see remind me.

I see everything behind me.

I see the kid inside me

And these scars remind me

Of all the nights I cried.

That kid is still inside me

His past is terrifying.

Many nights he stayed awake crying.

The scars he keeps on hiding.

My past is terrifying.

Every night I was frightened.

I can’t hide my scars, but I am trying.

My past it seems to define me.

Now every night I am frightened

So sometimes I’m still crying.

My past still defines me.

I can’t help but look behind me.

Sometimes I’m still crying

When I look in the mirror.

I can’t help but look behind me

And see no one here beside me.

I’m looking in the mirror.

I see only myself.

There’s no one here beside me.

There’s no one here to help.

I see only myself

And remember the pain I felt.

No one was there to help me

Pick myself up when I fell.

I remember the pain I felt.

I remember the tears I cried.

I remember when I fell.

Now its me, myself and I

Now I see the tears I cry.

It is painful to remember.

It hurts me, myself and I

To be looking in the mirror.

---Ethan Seevers (Grade 11)

Insecurities

Insecurities

 

A beautiful flower in the midst of trees

Reaches for light

But is shadowed by insecurities.

Talked down to by towering presences,

The seemingly less desired attempts to grow higher,

Paints itself,

Gets thinner,

Puffs out its chest

In the place where light barely shines.

The trees notice and ohh and ahh

But their bending puts the light out of reach.

The flower makes more changes,

Cuts off its petals

Tries to be a tree.

A flower trying to be a tree

Is a flower with insecurities.

A fake tree is a thing without beauty.

  --Ethan Seevers (Grade 11)

 

 

 

A Pantoum: Masking My Face

The mask upon my face

I wear a mask upon my face

I never cry nor smile

I never show emotion

It hurts too much

I never cry nor smile

I wear an eternal facade

It hurts so much

I need to stop

I wear an eternal facade

I bottle my emotions

I need to stop

I don’t know how

I bottle my emotions

I want to ask for help but

I don’t know how

Weakness hurts me

I want to ask for help but

I don’t want to look weak

Weakness hurts me

I don’t like pain

I don’t want to look weak

So I push the pain inside

I don’t like pain

But I know no other way

So I push the pain inside

I wear a mask upon my face

I know no other way

It hurts so much

I wear a mask upon my face

Forever there it stays

It hurts so much

But I push aside the pain

And forever there it stays

This mask upon my face

And as I push aside the pain

It loosens every day

This mask upon my face

I don’t want it to remain

It loosens every day

And I cry

I don’t want it to remain

It’s hurting so bad

And so I cry

I’m starting to change

It’s hurting so bad

I can’t keep up this charade

I’m starting to change

And so I throw the mask away

I’ve given up this charade

I wear my heart upon my sleeve

I’ve thrown my mask away

I will never be the same

--Ethan Seevers

Haiku about Life and Dreams

Ethan Seevers (grade 11) handed me these two haiku on Wednesday and I like them.



Life is life a fight.
You can either win or lose
But do not give up.



Dreams can be visions
Coming to you while you sleep.
They educate you.

An Ethan Seevers Poem

Ethan Seever is my newest private writing student. He shows great promise and this piece gives a glimpse of  some of his thought currents.

Is It Too Late?

Here is the time where we find out we're men

when we can break a heart but not bend

and when we come finally to understand

that when your heart breaks its not the end

though you feel the blow down real low

and it feels like you should curl up and know

it is time to go but

take it slow.

Don’t get caught up in the moment

just like my Pops said

“guard your heart”

don’t give way to sin

because in the end you never win.

You lose.

Why did I choose

not to listen to him

and because of my choice I did not bend.

I broke.

Guess I’m not a real man

but I understand now from this end.

Is it too late to go back to then

before all this crap caused by my sin?

 Can I go back and make sure I win

avoid making the same mistake again

but I’m prone to sin so how can

I ever win?

--Ethan Seevers (Grade 11)