My writing students are working on showing the seasons rather than telling about the seasons. It is a difficult distinction for beginning writers. This student shows a picture of autumn to the reader by carefully selecting words.
Autumn
Air is crisp and cool.
Umbrellas twirl in the rain.
Tree leaves, multicolored, spin down to earth in the wind.
Under shelter of warm foliage, squirrels scamper.
Mice gather for the advent of winter flurries.
Nuts are scattered beneath tall trees.
-- Courtney Rupp, Grade 6
3 comments:
This is lovely, Courtney. You've captured the season very well.
This is so well crafted as a word-picture, that if I'd read the poem first and then been asked to title it, The title would have had to be "Autumn".
Never once does it say "Autumn is ...", but the total of what is said could be describing nothing else. Good work!
ed
The strong verbs are appealing.
twirl
spin
gather
scatter
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